I Love Paris(ian Waiters)!

I hadn't planned to do another post til tomorrow but I was looking for something on my computer and ran across this piece I wrote about one of my favorite Male Waitresscrushes. This was a few years ago when my wife's family and I went to France for vacation.

We had spent the day wandering Paris, looking for the Eiffel Tower (yes you can see it but actually getting there turned out to be harder than anticipated) and shopping. At some point, we decided it was time for lunch, after spending a good hour in the local cafe, drinking coffee and watching the girls walk by, a decision was reached that we would look for something off the beaten path.

An hour after that, we found a very off the track restaurant. We were greeted by a wonderful little French man straight out of the casting department. He turned out to be the owner. The owner decided to take our orders and could tell right off the bat that we were from America and kinda gave us the business.

"Everything on this menu, YOU can eat, EXCEPT the tripe. Tripe is no good for you. Also, when I go to America they don’t speak in French, so you should speak in French and I should not have to speak in English."

The family seems to take him at face value. Me? I see this guy to be playing the gruff restaurateur angle but I figure I am in France I should be so lucky to get off this easy. I am just gonna go along and see how this ends. I assume that it will end with me taking pictures with the owner after having a great meal, but I don't share that with anyone. Good thing...

My father in law makes an opening gambit that immediately sets the mood for the rest of the meal, "I would like to get some wine--"

"FIRST! We order the food then we will settle your drinks! This is the French way," never changing his expression while staring directly at me. I swear I can almost see his eyes smile and I think I might love this man.

A smile crosses my lips and the table is silent. I leap in and start to order, then remember that women always order first in any civilized country. I feel like I am on a first date with Le Owner, watching everything I say and do, "Ladies what will you be having?" We get exactly one order in before the trouble starts.

"I would like to have the appetizer special of the day,” says my dearest sister in law.

"Are you sure? That is not enough food." He actually looks concerned.

"Well then I will have---the Salad."

"Well if I can make a recommendation," my beautiful Frenchman says without waiting for an answer, "You have traveled all this way to France, from AMERICA, where you can have VEGETABLES any time. Why not have something that you can only get in France." He actually went on quite a bit longer than that but I was not taking careful notes at the time, I was anticipating what was to come.

My sister in law is appalled, "I have been all over the world including--"

"I know that you Americans think that you know what is good for you, but let me just say this. Everything on this menu, except the tripe, EVERYTHING can be eaten by you and you will enjoy it. The tripe, that is not for you. No! In fact, if you were to come here five days in a row, at the end you would know and understand FRENCH COOKING."

At that point I knew I had witnessed two things I had never seen before: the legendary Rude French Waiter in his natural environment... and my fairly awesome sister in law reduced to tears in public.

While I wanted to take her side, when it was my turn to order I told this beautiful man that I would eat whatever he put before me, knowing that he would not do me wrong. I was completely in the right as the meal was definitely one of the best I ever had.

Needless to say, we didn’t go back there during the rest of the vacation and my sister in law didn't speak to me for the rest of the day. Ah, the penalties of love!